When I first met my now husband, I did not see the Love of My Life in him, I saw someone to show off to. When next I met him, my eyes did not open to how much I loved him, I just thought “what a douche to shave off his hair”. Still, I don’t discriminate against hairless people, and I corresponded with him and got to know him. Turned out he was wise and interesting to talk to. I saw him some more and eventually fell in love with him.
At that time in my life I fell in love with a lot of smart guys, so falling in love with another one didn’t seem like much. Somehow though he convinced me that we should stay together. So we stayed together and I thought about what it would be like to live with this guy. Because we had similar philosophy and compatible habits, I decided I would love to live with this guy. And the more time I spent with him, the more I came to love him.
I worried because I had heard that when you find your true soul-mate you feel it unmistakeably. This made me unsure, because my reasoning was unmistakeable, but my feeling was gradual and not very pronounced. I felt not at all sure. This doubt made me more doubtful, because now I was sure my feeling was not unmistakable.
Despite that I grew more and more fond of him. By the time we got married in five years I was positively in love with him. People congratulated us and complemented on how our affection for each other seemed still fresh and new after five years. It’s because we were only beginning to love each other after the initial falling in love with each other.
What I’m trying to say might be old news after the awesome Tim Minchin has created “If I didn’t have you” song, but I still want to say it, so that others don’t have to doubt their relationships just because they don’t know at first sight if it is meant to be or not. I’ll probably look back at this in a few years laughing at what a romantic little fool I was, but now I love my husband more than I thought possible at the time when I was deciding to stay with him and had my doubts.